Costa Mesa hates me
"Usually, I don’t let run-on sentences on poorly designed signs affect me, but this one annoyed me."
When your parents are undocumented, you need to learn the rules quickly. Don’t tell your teachers where you’re from. Keep your grades up because the judge is going to see your report card. Don’t trust white people with your secret because they’re more likely to call ICE. Mine was a childhood of fear, obviously.
This week is Costa Mesa, California, a group of individuals posted a large sign over the freeway reading, “MASS DEPORTATIONS NOW THEY HAVE TO GO BACK.” Usually, I don’t let run-on sentences on poorly designed signs affect me, but this one annoyed me.
The church I run is in Costa Mesa. The gay church. The progressive church. The sanctuary church. The church Evangelical Christians warn each other about.
It’s incredibly frustrating to be part of a community where the majority of people with power and influence are wealthy white Americans who are veering quickly towards the far-right. They tend to let shenanigans like this slide to “keep the peace” and avoid “stirring things up.” But make no mistake, this sign is a threat and brown people know it. Nothing new to see here for the brown immigrant community.
Because they’re never talking about the Russian immigrant, right? Or the British, Polish, Australian, Norwegian, Dutch, Irish, Italian, Canadian, etc, eh? They mean the brown people.
The white first-gen kids are granted peace while the rest of us live under the threat of deportation our entire lives, despite the fact that we were born in this country, too. A lot of us couldn’t be left behind. So we learned the rules to better our chances of staying, like the one I’m trying to let go of right now: It’s not safe to engage with the racists.
But I have privilege now. From the ages of 7-13, I was an active and integral part of my father’s immigration case. For reasons that would take too long to get into, my father was granted residency because I needed to stay in this country. And I’m still trying to actively let go of all that weight that I had to carry in my heart and soul for so long. Because we did it and my dad is a citizen now. We are safe… and I married a middle class white guy.
While some people in my community stand over freeways with signs, I need to remind myself that I’m safe enough to dream up ways to combat their actions. My safety does not depend on my silence anymore and the privilege I worked so hard to taste allows me the room to speak up.
Now the questions is, what should my signs say?